Impulses are annoying, I wish I knew what to do with them.  And I dont mean your average impulses, I mean the entire physically tight needing feeling to do something even though you know it’s wrong. I don’t mean crimes either, really. Not than I deny it can lead to the likes.

I mean the urge to say things that shouldn’t be said. I suppose it’s as if the ‘filter’ doesn’t exist.

A racing heart, punching through your chest. The air refusing to enter your lungs.

Your brain refusing to move on from the thought, only forgiving once the words escape you.

You’re running circles in your head, and it shows in your body. Your leg bounces, or your fingers find something to twiddle. Maybe your foot just taps. Maybe you scratch yourself or tug at your hair.

All at once, it continues, there’s two ways out.

Give in and succumb to the internal pressure and let the words be spoken. Let the damage be done, sometimes without repair. Allow yourself to collapse into chaos again and again.

Or find a way to manage the emotions.

To be continued…